Shit control

My mom and dad were talking about this staff that always had to shit during meetings, then my dad went to teach me his life experiences.

CONVO TIME (long time haven’t convo-ed)

Dad: eh if you go army how?

Me: huh?

Dad: if you go army training halfway wan to pang sai (shit) how?

Me: hold lor.

Dad: li siao ah ( you crazy ah), later war halfway kena shoot.

Me: you already say training mah.

Dad: later the sergeant punish you ah.

Me: Then I just shit in the wilderness.

Dad: Just shit in the morning gao dim liao (solve already).

Me: Siao so early morning go shit, at night lah.

Dad: later not enough sleep how.

Me: I sleep later then wake up later mah.

Dad: WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SHIT IN THE MORNING ( quite irritated)

Me: not my style.

Dad: If you shit in the morning, you won’t need to shit later in the day, then the whole day you eat, digest in the night, and shit in the morning, this is the best way!

Me: but I always shit in afternoon.

Dad: its a habit already, Now on you change to morning, next time army won’t so troublesome.

Me: fine.

Shitting also need good timing, its supposed to be a shiok thing (eh you shit you not shiok ah), then need to have DISCIPLINE ALSO, wa lao eh…….

Why can’t our body just destory the waste inside of us like how the white blood cells destory illnesses? Actually saying so much, shitting is just a waste of time.

shitty post today, damn tired…..(feels incomplete)

Spring cleaning!

I woke up at 6am today, went to shower to start early, but after shower I went back to the room and fainted on the bed, too bushed (manu vs liverpool match yesterday).

so woke up at 9 and started grabbing all my things and placing them on the bed.

Then after placing all the stuff somewhere, the dust flew around like mad, making me cry and cough at the same time lol.

So i was getting started when I looked at the glass and boomz!

What a face.

all the lame pattern pattern socks. And wth do I have a tennis racket….

And now, standard secondary student.

Sorting had to be done so I just crumpled any crap paper and threw it on the floor…..

Uh….now, the packing is still not finished, anyway its 9/10 done.

And today, my daily visit record hit a new high, 135 visits! SK FTW!

HEHE, I dunno what to say anymore……

Its saturday?

Its just weird cause for the last 2 years i’ve been going to fencing every saturday morning, and when I went to school this morning it just felt like friday, and coming home same feeling, I only realised it was saturday when I reached home and looked at my calendar.

Today was not bad, got the singapore uncle and aunties attitude. The thing is if a person participates in the activity or buys something, he will get chops, and a certain number of chops and you can exchange it for stuff.

So we are in charge of educating the ppl of how to read food labels.

And at this time this angmoh guy who came to view the house (selling my house), saw my MANCHESTERUNITED designed bedroom and he didn’t like it.

He’s was leaving and said,” thank you, and by the way, liverpool will beat manchester united hands down tomorrow.”

HEY what could I do, scold him? So I just laughed and said,” haha we’ll see.”

okay continuing from food labels…..

Most aunties and uncles would come directly to me (i’m the quiz man to give the chops if they get the right ans), they all said in hokkien, mandrin, english and cantonese,” I dunno how to see leh, just give me the chop.”

And I just gave them, don’t want to get trouble.

Aunties and uncles come to these health carnivals just to get free stuff……guess thats just singaporean…..but I don’t like it.

Well……what can I do? Singapore is Singapore

No chinese font!?

I dunno how to get the chinese character thingy thats in a small box or at the bottom right corner of the screen so I went to google and typed my name in ‘han yu pin yin’ (chinese english words), li shen kai (lol), and I found this website.

http://www.nciku.com/?gclid=CI75rIeJ050CFZMwpAod-RsUsw

and they allowed me to write my name with the mouse on some box and they found my name lol, smart right?

Anyway its a good website when you have no chinese font.

MOVING ON.

So tmr there will be this health carnival (bullshitty), and I wish its a complete failure, its practically a complete WASTE OF TIME.

Its took up my fencing time tmr (i hate you commonwealth).

At least can spam PSP with friends, mine isn’t cracked like yesterday’s, it my bro’s if you didn’t read properly.

and now trying bleach my fren gave me, and I just a bit irritated, japanese all over the place how to understand….

Today is a relatively boring post, sry and i’ll be back tmr with better substance!

PSP fucked up

Because of fifa 10, I went to explore and updated my psp till I couldn’t play dwnloaded games anymore, its now version 6.10, sial lah….so high.

Actually was 3.61 M33 something like that, but that damn fifa 10 didn’t allow me to play it, said what error crap….

sian ah……..nvm….going qishan to repair it, wan follow?

btw my screen is also cracked.

nice right, cracked but still playable. NOT DESIGN (everyone says that)

Its my bro’s, he dropped it and kept crying so I exchanged mine with his, since it has cracked screen and too high version, can kill two birds with one stone.

Electronics just piss me off, cannot do this, cannot do that, too slow, corrupted data ah, viruses, BULLSHITT.

tranquility…..

I…don’t care anymore…

Got back papers, was damn irritated at the marks.

I thought I could get like what A or at least a B, but I got C. The paper was easy yet this happened.

There is this question: how do faternal (do not look alike) twins come about? (or something like that)

Then I wrote the answer as : two different ova were fertilised by two different sperms.

ITS CORRECT, BUT THE ANSWER WROTE : TWO SPERMS FERTILISED ONE EGG AND SPLIT INTO TWO.

FUCK, if that happened the zygote would die sooner or later.

I wanted to go argue it but…..I don’t care anymore, die than die, double science than double science.

Its just fate, i’m fated to screw-up my horseshit exams, there were other questions like that but what the heck, heck care.

And through this I learned something:

Without hope, there won’t be disappointment, so don’t hope too hard.

And now after an exam, even if I know it was easy, my target for it would be just 50%, this way I would have my expectations exceeded and it wouldn’t be as frustrating as it is now…..

So in life, hope is just a weakness….

Results

Well, tmr is judgement day. Getting back my results but weirdly, I DON’T FEEL NERVOUS AT ALL.

I have this “I don’t care attitude now”, even though it will be my future, my class of next year which will change EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE.

Its just amazing how one small thing or even a second can change EVERYTHING.

Just sitting on a bus, then it rams into some building which comes falling onto you. Or you just PUNCH your PRINCIPAL, see how just one action can kill you, life is frustrating, everything is difficult to build, respect, friendship, but just one wrong action and kaboom……

Now saying it, I’m still un-nervous, is that normal…?

Toilet trouble

I was shitting yesterday reading sports newspaper when suddenly, a COCKROACH ran out of nowhere!

I shouted like a shemale (muahaha), then it ran into a corner, seeing that it wasn’t moving, I decided to carry on my business.

After flushing down the disgusting excretions (kuku), a LIZARD ran out from nowhere and “stationed” at the top corner.

I stared at it and said,” dude, just f*ck off?”

And in a rage, the lizard chiong-ed towards me through the ceiling and the COCKROACH WHICH I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT, RAN TOWARDS ME. It was chaotic, air raid and land attack.

I jumped into the showering place, equipped my showerer(wtf…), set it in pressure mode and sprayed the cockroach back into the corner while I opened the drain thing.

I turned off the shower and it scowered into the only place to hide, in the drain (typical brainless creatures).

And the lizard was sticking onto my ceiling, DIRECTLY ABOVE the toilet bowl and of course, I grinned.

I sprayed it and you know, not all plans work, it slapped the floor and scowered into the drain (again…).

I turned on the showerer (dunno the name), put it in the highest temp. water like what 80C?

Rushed it into the drain thing and shouted,” DIE BIATCH!!”

After satisfying my killing impulse, I went to shower.

NOW 2nd PROBLEM.

I use gel whenever I go out, 10 out of 10 times I would use gel, you will never see me outside without it. And the regular gel I had been using was running out.

aaaaahhhhhhhIIII…..can give you gatsby…..gatsby……gatsby….

enough lameness.

So I went to NTUC, and bought this WAX.

See, INDESTRUCTIBLE leh.

So I tried it for one day, and at the end of the day, I washed my hair for like 3 times (with shampoo), and wtf, it STAYS ON THE HAIR.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WASH, MY HAIR IS STILL HARD. I can style it any pattern I want without putting any gel or wax on, but its damn irritating, imagine sleeping with gel or wax on your hair!

It has been 48 hours since I used it and wow, I know its seriously indestructible, my hair is like HARD, REALLY REALLY HARD.

stuff I do in the toilet…….dammnnn

TWINS! (part 2)

I was rudely Interrupted yesterday so today, continuition.

Twins, that means there are two madly similar people on this planet, I was wondering if one or both of the twins feel un-special…..

You see, most people have only 1 copy of themselves (like me), so yeah there is only 1 you! That makes you special!

Weasely twins.

But for twins, its like you’re printing paper when suddenly you accidentally press the x2 button, then the first one comes out, the 2nd one is printed on a 2nd piece of paper but on it is exactly the same.

Twins would usually wear different clothing or accessories to tell them apart from the other, but if both of them are example……100% naked (example onli!!), their best friends, maybe even their parents get them mixed up. I have twin friends and the only way I tell them apart is the shape and number pimples on their faces (WEIRD).

There are twins in my school, in another class, both of them are just as loud and obnoxious as the other, and I see that both of them have the same friends, grades and all other crap, its like……makes me feel uneasy.

SEE!!! they are numbered 1 and 2…….poor things….

During science I learnt that the twins come from the same fertilised egg which splits into 2, making them look the same and having different traits.

But another case is when 2 different eggs are fertilised by 2 different sperms, which would make the twins look different and probably have different gender.

If I were to choose I would like to have the latter kind of twins, they are special in their own way, But the best would be 1 child birth, that way he or she would be special in his/her own way.

If I had a twin brother that looks exactly like me, I would make him do plastic surgery cause my current face is just “flawless!!!” jkjk.

Hey but we can’t control these things, just have to let nature take its course.

TWINS!

After exams, just feel so free its just weird.

OKAY, everyday I would walk back home, press the button on the lift, lift would arrive, open, no one inside, I go inside, go 5th floor, go in house, shower, take PSP, lie on sofa, play 5 mins and eventually fall asleep.

BUT TODAY CHANGE.

The door of the lift opened, I was going to walk inside when I saw a bunch of people inside. I backed out and looked forward, house selling guy (forgot the professional name), one uncle one auntie, AND two “chio bu”, TWINS, I thought I was seeing things to I blinked hard to ‘clear’ my eyes, yeah twins! ON AH!

They had the the the……the wad hairstyle…..bangs was it?

Anyway they were about….5 cm shorter, sec 1-2 look, huat ah, after exams my luck coming back.

I aLm05T SMILED, but kept my cool and acted cool, EXPRESSIONLESS! (i’m just so proud of myself)

When I got into the lift and the doors closed, I looked at the mirror (ya there’s a reflection thing in the lift, always check my hair and uniform there), and moderately shouted,” OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!”

Got into house and RUSHED to the balcony, and search-mode, and within 10secs, spotted them again at the 2nd floor balcony opposite my house, looking around.

If they were gonna stay here, it would make my holidays alot more interesting (MuAhAhAhA!! )

But ya know…..the thing about twins is…..ahhh I gotta post tmr, PARENTS COMING DOWN!!!